


The Haze

by Amberlyne



Category: Ai no Kusabi
Genre: Headspace, M/M, Self-blaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:15:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22049221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amberlyne/pseuds/Amberlyne
Summary: There's a haze, right when the pain turns to pleasure, right after your resolve has broken down. The points where the lines blur and you no longer know if you hate him or want him so bad. When you'll beg for anything and everything.
Relationships: Iason Mink/Riki
Comments: 2
Kudos: 80
Collections: Ai no Kusabi Creative Challenge December 2019





	The Haze

**Author's Note:**

> Since you are here I assume you have read AnK and I assume you can deal with non-con. But if you are like me and some days non-con is problematic for you: this fic is not for you today. I'm sending you cute kittens and fluffy bunnies and you can come back to read this on a good day ;) 
> 
> \---
> 
> Inspired by the third week of the December 2019 #ankCreativeChallenge  
> Art promt: Blur

How long had it been going on for? He didn’t know anymore. His body toyed with. His mind turned inside out. But so far he had managed to not give in. How long until he could no longer postpone the inevitable?

“Who do you belong to?”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“I see. You haven’t had enough yet.”

The fingers that had been caressing his throat tightened slightly. Just enough to make breathing more difficult. Just enough to make lightheadedness creep in. His muscles started to betray him slowly, relaxing as the flow of oxygen was restricted. He had no choice in the matter, his body leant against the body behind him. He was naked except for a collar around his neck and cuffs at his wrists and ankles. Vulnerable and exposed. Easy prey for the stronger man behind him.

No! He was losing control over his body. More stimulation would become his undoing. He didn’t want it! Fingers played with one of his nipples, ghosted past his side. They did nothing to relieve the dull ache between his legs. But still he couldn’t bring himself to not curse the man doing this to him. Rolling over and taking it was no option. But as his brain was becoming more and more oxygen starved he was beginning to wonder how long he could hold out.

If it hadn’t been for the petring he would have cum already, willing or no. His torturer knew every inch of his body. Every sensitive spot. Every single best way to stimulate him. He could not hold out forever, and they both knew it. Still he had to fight, even if it made the torture ten times worse.

The hand on his throat slid down to his torso and he gulped for air. Two hands playing with his nipples now. It seemed as if there was a direct line between the two little bundles of nerves and his cock. A pulling sensation that set his entire body on fire. He was aware of moaning sounds escaping his mouth. He felt the ring at the base of his penis biting into him, mocking him. Even as he struggled he was rock hard. Even as he screamed ‘no’ his body said ‘yes’. He tried to convince himself it wasn’t his fault. Tried and failed. He couldn’t think straight. He hung his head.

Suddenly fingers twisted into his hair.

“Get on all fours.”

There was no sense in disobeying, he knew it. He considered staying upright for less than a split second. Obeying was easier than being forced into the position. A hand slid down his spine in a stroking gesture. It seemed to leave a trail of flames in its wake. Part of him, the overstimulated part, wanted to press into the touch. It was soft enough to almost be comforting, loving even. But he didn’t let himself. He grit his teeth. Whatever was coming, he could take it.

The hand stopped at his ass. Fingers caressing and then digging into one of the cheeks. He groaned. He couldn’t stop himself. The muscles that had relaxed as his breath had been cut off tensed up again. Two hands were on his ass now.

“Relax.”

It was a command. He knew not obeying would not mean the end, it would mean more pain. He forced himself to breath. In and out, in and out, in and out. In out, in out, in out. In. Out. It worked only partially. He forced himself to unclench his butt, but every other part of him was taut with dread of what was to come next. The hands parted his asscheeks. A single finger flicked the ring of muscles that lay between. He howled. Tiny pinpricks ran up his spine. It was pleasure, it was pain, it was humiliation. Again he hung his head and closed his eyes so as to not have to see his own body. See what was becoming of it at the hands of this man.

He was panting again. Ragged breath tore from his throat. His arms and legs felt like they would cramp up. The air he breathed gave no relief. It was warm, humid, sticky, and made him feel like he was trying to breath mud.

“Please.”

The word had fallen from his lips before he could stop it. He didn’t care. It had to stop. He wanted it to please stop.

“Please what?”

His torturer was unrelenting. Flicking a finger past the ring of muscles again and he spoke.

“Ah! Stop. Please stop.”

Might as well be damned for the entire question rather than only the plea. Because he knew it wouldn’t stop.

It didn’t.

“This doesn’t want me to stop.”

A hand grabbed between his legs, harshly taking hold of his cock. The body part that betrayed him most of all. He screamed and didn’t know if it was in anger, frustration, or bliss. A familiar sensation started to radiate out from the cockring. The neural stimulation it could provide. His head came up and his eyes opened, but all he could see through the tears that had started to fill his eyes was a blur.

The hand stroked his cock almost absentmindedly. The hand at his rectum had also started stroking again. And then a finger was pushed past the ring of muscles and he moaned. It should have hurt, but all the stimulation to the pleasure centre of his brain no longer allowed the pain to register. His eyes rolled up. This was it. The pain was gone, it was only pleasure and humiliation now. Soon he would be begging.

The finger inside of him moved ever so slightly. And it felt good. He moaned again.

“Are you ready to be more compliant now?”

“Please.”

The finger wiggled.

“Please what?”

“More. Please. I need more.”

He felt his brain slip into a familiar haze. The haze that came on him when all of it, the pain, the pleasure, the humiliation, mingled into a strange mental blur. It didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was the continuation of the haze. He never fully remembered what happened in the haze, only flashes and vague remembrances of pleasure. Indescribable pleasure.

Like now. The hands seemed to be everywhere at once. On him, around him, inside him. He sunk deeper and deeper.

“I want you to…”

The last bit of defiance was swallowed up by the haze and blurred with the rest.

“Fuck me. Please, please fuck me.”

Deeper still. He was no longer there as fingers were replaced by a cock and his already assaulted body was pushed even further passed its limits.

He was babbling. Begging for more, begging for the end, and yes, for even more. Spasms wrecked his body. And when he was finally allowed to cum he screamed, screamed until it ended in a hoarse whisper. There was no pleasure in the release. Maybe it was pain, but the haze didn’t allow the pain to come through and mixed it into the rest of the blur.

He wasn’t sure if he had blacked out. His body felt light. As if it wasn’t there at all.

Through the haze he heard the soft, cold, collected voice.

“Who do you belong to?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Please allow me to rant about consent for just one moment:  
> As AnK fans we know that the I/R relationship is difficult. For some of us AnK has helped us understand things about our sexuality. That is perfectly fine. Just remember: AnK is a story, a fantasy.  
> When playing with your partner please check in with them regularly, do not ignore their signals or safewords, and provide proper aftercare.  
> Your may expect your partner to provide these same conditions for you. Stay stafe babes!  
> Love and kisses!


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